I've heard some bad honeymoon stories in my time. But this one takes the cake.
A couple rents a kayak for their honeymoon in Maui. The winds pick up and the wife is thrown overboard and eaten by a shark, while the husband gets marooned on an island for three days until he's finally rescued.
I'm not going to talk about the opinion, which is about whether the resulting lawsuit against the United States (for their allegedly crappy rescue efforts) are governed by the Suits in Admiralty Act, the Public Vessels Act, or the Federal Torts Claim Act. I just want to mention to underlying debacle of a honeymooon.
P.S. - The one thing I can't figure out is where the husband was allegedly marooned. Judge O'Scannlain's opinion just says that the husband "washed up on an island and was stranded for three days before he was rescued." I don't know of -- and can't find -- any tiny islands off Maui. What island are we talking about here? Gilligan's Island?
UPDATE FROM THE MASSES: Someone (not for attribution) e-mailed me that the island in question is Kahoolawe. Not exactly tiny. But not exactly a vacation paradise either, since it's described as "badly contaminated" and full of "dangerous unexploed ordinance." I'll be sure to visit when I'm in Kuaui in May. Definitely.