Maybe I'm crazy, but if I'm driving a vehicle with a blood alcohol content of approximately double the legal limit, I'm probably not going to cruise to within 15 yards of the Mexican border and then do a U-turn while peeling out once I spot the inevitable border patrol vehicle.
Especially if I'm so drunk that I've peed myself.
Also, I probably wouldn't appeal the ultimate suspension of my license, either. Because not only would I lose, but it might also result -- like here -- in a published opinion that mentions my full name.
A series of unfortunate decisions.