Friday, May 25, 2018

People v. Berg (Cal. Ct. App. - May 25, 2018)

Maybe you were drunk when you were arrested.  But it's now two days later, and you've been in jail the entire time.  You might not have immediately known it at first.  But it makes sense that, after two days, your voluntary intoxication doesn't negate the fact that you had a baggie of methamphatmine in your butt the entire time.

Which, last time I checked, was a crime.

I must say, though, that Mr. Berg remained somewhat classy once he was caught.  As the Court of Appeal recites the facts:

"The deputy escorted defendant to the booking area, where inmates change out of their civilian clothes and are given jail clothing after a visual strip search. As defendant changed out of his civilian clothes, he reached toward his “anus” and started “[d]igging, trying to push or pull something.” The deputy noticed plastic wrapping between defendant’s buttocks. Defendant eventually threw the plastic package onto the floor. The deputy recalled that when defendant was asked what was in the plastic, defendant sarcastically answered “to the effect of, ‘Something not readily available at your local 7- Eleven.’”

Nice.  "Something not readily available at your local 7-11."  Gonna have to use that one myself the next time I'm caught with meth near my anus.