It's a heartbreaking case, to be sure. But also an uplifting one.
On one side, you've got the heartbreak that they take this tiny baby from her parents (particularly, her mother). But not excruciatingly heartbreaking, on that front anyway. The mother's homeless, has had two kids (including L.M.) who were taken away after the kids tested positive for methamphetamine, and the father's in custody on weapons and drug charges. Mother's never even visited the kid. And then Mother gets arrested on various charges, including vehicle theft. And Father gets arrested on charges that include robbery. To say that Mother and Father aren't going to adequately take care of the kids is an understatement. That's not even really the issue here.
The issue is where you place the kids.
The earlier child of Mother gets placed with Rita and John E. They eventually adopt her. It's a beautiful thing. They're doing great. They live in Florida, and everything seems wonderful.
When the second child of Mother gets born (L.M.), Rita and John want that new kid placed with them as well. They'll take care of her while the process with Mother runs in course, and in time, will likely adopt L.M. as well. And in the meantime, L.M. will be with her biological sister.
Except for one thing. Rita and John are in Florida, and aren't yet licensed there as foster parents. So they immediately start that process.
But what to do in the interim? Obviously they can't place L.M. with Mother. So they place the kid with Kate and Jaime.
Who are also absolutely wonderful. The kid bonds, the kid's doing great, fantastic. Beautiful.
It takes some months for Rita and John to get certified in Florida, but they pass all the background checks, family visits, etc. with flying colors. In the meantime, though, Kate and Jaime totally bond with L.M. as well, and decide they want to adopt her.
So then we have to decide: Who gets L.M.?
Is it Kate and Jaime, who have cared for her since birth? And are awesome. Or is it Rita and John, who care for L.M.'s sister and who are also awesome?
As both the Court of Appeal and the trial court recognized, it's an incredibly, incredibly tough call. As the trial court said after closing arguments of the parties at the trial:
"When one becomes a judge, they send you to new judge orientation
for a week, and then a little while after that, they send you to judge's
college for two weeks. And then finally, if you get assigned to a[n] area of the law like dependency, they send you to primary
assignment training for a week. None of those programs teach you
how to make decisions like I have to make today. In making rulings like I have to make today is really the hardest
part of this job. I recognize no matter how I rule, there will be
people who will be devastated. And I take no joy in that. . . . Prior to making my ruling, I want the record to reflect that this
court finds that based on all the evidence, that [Kate] and [Jaime]
have done an excellent job of taking care of [L.M.] I believe them
both to be good people, and excellent parents. I also want the record
to reflect that based on the evidence Mr. and Mrs. [E.] have taken
excellent care of [V.E.] and when [L.M.] has visited with them, I
find that they have taken excellent care of [L.M.] as well. I believe
them both to be good people and excellent parents as well. With or without [V.E.] in the mix, either of these two families
would be an ideal family for [L.M.]. The issue here . . . is not
whether one family is better than the other, the fact is they are both
excellent. Both of them."
Ultimately, the trial court gives L.M. to Rita and John. Principally because that way she can be with her sister, with whom she has apparently bonded during their visits and so they can be together for the rest of their lives. Which is, of course, awesome. And the Court of Appeal affirms.
The heartbreaking thing -- of course -- is that this means the kid gets removed from Kate and Jaime. Not because they're bad parents. At all. And not because they haven't bonded with the kid, because they totally have.
Just because it's an incredibly, incredibly hard call. One that could go either way. And it goes against them.
So that's what I mean when I say the case is heartbreaking.
But at the same time, I wish that all the dependency cases that I read were this type of heartbreaking. Here, there are two awesome families. Both of whom will totally love the kid. Both of whom are fully capable of helping the child be the absolute best child she can possibly be. The world would be a better place if those were the stories that filled the pages of the California Appellate Reports. In the place of all the terrible, miserable, horrible stories in those same pages in which you can only sigh and hang your head and what's likely to be the eventual outcome for the children at issue.
One final point. There's a constant undercurrent in this case about race. All the relevant parental units (John, Rita, Kate and Jaime) are Caucasian. But L.M. is African-American. As is her sister (with John and Rita).
The Court of Appeal goes to great lengths to discuss the race of the relevant parents and the kids, as well as how John and Rita "moved from San Diego to Tampa,
Florida, which is 26 percent African-American," "reside in a multiracial
neighborhood there," and that the first kid (V.E.) "attends a racially diverse school, and the family attends a
church having a predominantly African-American congregation." And there are repeated references as well, particularly in the trial court, by the various experts and witnesses expressing a preference for unifying the kid sisters because that way L.M. will have someone of her own race in the family.
So race is a big deal here. Even though occasionally the references seem somewhat deliberately veiled.
In telling contrast, not a word is spoken about sexuality. Or even marital status. The Court of Appeal mentions that John and Rita are married. But what we know about Kate and Jaime is that they "have had a stable relationship for seven years." Which is equivalent thereto. And although the reader may suspects that Kate is a woman -- and the Court of Appeal sometimes uses the word "her" to describe her -- it appears almost certainly deliberately that the Court of Appeal not once mentions the gender of Jaime. A name often applied to both boys and girls.
That front isn't once mentioned. Or even hinted at.
Which, of course, is how it should be. Which shows you in part how far we've come from the bad old days.
I'll mention, though, that even though the opinion only uses first names and initials, it's not that hard to figure out the identity of Kate and Jaime, since we know they're in San Diego. Looks like they had an absolutely gorgeous (and fun) wedding, and one that's well-documented online. And even a little digging will also reveal pictures of L.M. on Kate's Facebook page. Alongside some heartbreaking comments that reflect and understanding that the child now resides elsewhere.
John and Rita and Kate and Jaime did wonderful things. Each and every one of them.
You feel incredibly bad that something so heartbreaking necessarily had to happen to two of them.
