I can summarize this seventeen-page, single spaced opinion pretty easily. Indeed, in two sentences:
If you're a total loser and petty thief, don't make a phony terrorist threat after 9/11 -- here, the one in 1994 that claimed that terrorists were planning to blow up shopping malls in Los Angeles -- that results in massive public disclocation, all in an absurd attempt to (somehow) curry favor so that hopefully the INS will let you back into the United States. Because if you do, the district court isn't going to follow the sentencing guidelines' recommendation that you get 12-18 months in prison, and will instead depart upward and send you to prison for five full years, and even a liberal majority on the panel in the 9th Circuit will affirm the sentence, since we ain't gonna help out no two-bit fake terrorist wannabe.
See? I just saved you seventeen pages of reading. Consider it an early birthday present.
Now get back to work.
