"I'll confess to the murder, but only if you give me a burger, fries, burrito and a soda." This, by the way, was better (or at least more favorable to the prosecution) than the defendant's previous offer, which was to confess to various unsolved crimes in return for "a segregated cell with a television, $200 in his inmate trust account, a double
bacon cheeseburger, strawberry milkshake, and chili pork burrito, stamped envelopes,
legal pads, pencils, media contacts, and an exclusive interview."
What's the deal with the "media contacts" part of that earlier request? Glad you asked. You see, Mr. Tejada insists that he's the victim of a horrible mind control experiment. And it wants the world to know about it.
Indeed, they finally get him to confess by having him write down his confession as part of a "press release." So no soda. Mr. Tejada wrote: "It must be understood that I am 100% the subject of a United States
government mind control experiment project that is on-going." Which is in turn why he committed the murder. As Justice Dato explains: "'Suggestional thoughts' were inserted into his brain, hypnotizing him and causing him to pull the trigger."
And don't think this was an isolated, rogue program. Not at all. Who's fault was it? I think you know.
Obama's.
According to Mr. Tejada: "President Barack Obama was "fully aware" of the project." And all that Mr. Tejeda wanted was for "Obama to
admit to his face, 'Ay bro, you're a project.'"
Seems a reasonable request. If true.
Mr. Tejada gets declared incompetent several times, but ultimately is declared competent. So goes to trial. At which point, against his lawyer's advice (needless to say), he testified that (1) yeah, he was the one who committed the robberies and murder, (2) but that's only because his body had been controlled by "the project,"; and (3) "with the money he stole, he thought he
might buy some cigarettes and catch a plane to Langley to 'get to the bottom of this mind
control project.'"
Didn't quite work out that way, of course. He was convicted. But, perhaps not surprisingly, the Court of Appeal holds that the trial court should have conducted another competency hearing. Mr. Tejada can be retried if he's currently competent. But good luck with that.
