Wednesday, December 22, 2021

In re Emily L. (Cal. Ct. App. - Dec. 21, 2021)

Family is (obviously) important during the holiday season.  For some of us, the college kids come home; for others, older children (and perhaps grandchildren) sometimes visit, and those with younger kids have them home from school a bit more.  There's an obvious upside to all that contact, and maybe, on occasion, some downsides as well.

But whatever negative interactions you might -- or might not -- have with your relatives hopefully won't be as bad as this.

Here's the mother's story of her relationship with her 15-/16-year old daughter Emily:

"Mother said Emily’s behavior was “uncontrollable.” Emily has a “strong character” and does not want to follow any of the house rules or hear any type of redirection or advice from her parents. She came home from school around 8:00 or 9:00 p.m. When Mother would call to find out where she was, Emily did not answer the phone calls or turned off her phone, which worried Mother. Emily was currently failing her classes. Both parents were trying to motivate and help Emily with school. Both parents had tried to discipline her by taking way her phone and WiFi privileges. Mother suggested they do things together in an effort to build a better bond, but Emily refused. Emily appeared to Mother to prefer spending time with her friends than with her family.

Mother described the start of the altercation. She found photos of Emily posed in a bikini lying down on a bed. She believed Emily’s boyfriend took the photos. Mother ripped them up so they could not be used to bully Emily. When Mother told Emily she had destroyed the photos, Emily began throwing things around the bedroom they were in. She then began to advance toward Mother. Laughing, Emily started to rip up photos of her younger self. These included photos of Emily with her best friend, which Mother knew had sentimental value to Emily because her best friend had just moved away. Emily tried to hit Mother, who grabbed Emily’s wrist to keep from being hit. Emily grabbed the bunk bed ladder and began to push it in Mother’s direction. Mother had never seen Emily like this and was scared by her behavior. Emily pushed Mother, Mother pushed back, and Emily punched her. Mother tried to hold Emily’s wrists to stop the punching. Emily kicked Mother in the stomach and they grabbed each other’s hair. They fell to the floor; Emily climbed on top of Mother and began to hit her with a closed fist. Mother still had Emily by the hair. They stopped fighting and Emily went into the living room where she began kicking a glass table. She overturned the living room loveseat.

Mother decided to call 911 because she did not know what else to do. Emily moved to the kitchen and began kicking the refrigerator and opening cabinets, throwing everything to the floor. Emily then charged Mother and began kicking her torso. At that point, they grabbed each other by the hair and fell to the floor again. Emily again began punching Mother with a closed fist. Mother flipped over and choked Emily with one hand to get her to stop."

Makes those "uncomfortable holiday dinner conversations with relatives" look fairly minor, eh?