Wednesday, May 04, 2011

People v. Kennedy (Cal. Ct. App. - May 4, 2011)

I've said it so many times that I'm not going to say it again.  Okay, once more.  Engendered by this case earlier today.  But that's it.

That "13-year old" girl on the internet is a police officer.  Don't flirt with her.  Definitely don't send her pictures of your erect penis.  Definitely, under no circumstances, schedule a meeting with her for sex.  And for God's sake, man, don't take cocaine with you when you do.  It's a bust, you moron.

But can I say one additional thing as well, this time to the police?  Two things, actually.  One a compliment and one a critique.

First, good job catching these people.  Proud of you.  Second, a little constructive criticism.  Be a little bit more creative in the fake names you give yourself.  Here, the name you used for the alleged 13-year old girl was "Dawn Meadows".  You're conducting a sting operation, not shooting a porno flick.  Just stick with the classics.  "Jane Simpson".  "Ashley Wilson".  Names like that.

I know it worked this time.  But trust me that you'll catch more flies with more routine names like those than you will when you start using "Debbie Juggs".  Yeah, "Dawn Meadows" is a bit more subtle.  But only a bit.

(Apologies, obviously, to everyone out there named Dawn Meadows.  Or Debra Juggs.)