Friday, May 21, 2010

People v. Roberts (Cal. Ct. App. - May 21, 2010)

Google better watch out. There are some things you can only learn in the pages of the California Appellate Reporter.

Because I read a lot of cases, I'm fairly hip on modern lingo. (I use the terms "hip" and "lingo" to prove that I'm in fact totally not hip on modern lingo.) So I know, for example, what it means when someone asks if you want to "lay him down". Or at least when a member of a gang says that. Not that you couldn't figure that one out from context, of course. And "thing-thing" and "hizzy". Those are guns. People use those words just in case their cell phones are intercepted or they're subject to a tap. Not tough to figure out. It's like a story my father used to tell about a criminal defendant caught on a wiretap ordering "two and a half bunnies." Those are kilos. And not of bunnies.

But until I read this case, I had no idea what a "credible head" was. And the dudes are using it in their communications repeatedly. Like in the following wiretap:

"[A] You got, you got any plans, any ideas about, you know, some Sams? [B] What's crackin' with them? [A] Some credible heads, you know? You know what I mean? [B] Yeah. [A] I'm just fuckin' with credible heads, you know what I mean? [B] Yeah."

No, I do not "know what you mean". What the heck are you talking about?! "Credible heads"?

"You know what I mean? But credible heads, man. That's what I'm talkin' about credible heads. Everybody else, I'm not, I'm not doin' it. It's all good if it goes down, but I want heads. You know [what] I mean?"

Okay, I sort of know what you mean now. At least the "heads" part? But "credible"? What?!

So I google the term. Useless. Comes up with nothing at all helpful. Urban Dictionary? A blank.

Only in the published opinion itself do I learn what this term means. "'Credible head' is a reference to someone who has significant status within the set whose demise would impact and demoralize the set if taken out."

Makes sense. I get it.

P.S. - While we're on the subject of Google, I think that today may be the least productive Friday of the entire year. Not because it's a national holiday or anything, which (to my knowledge) it's not. But rather because Google's celebrating the 30th anniversary of Pac-Man by not only doing it's usual logo thing, but also making the Pac-Man-shaped logo work. For example, just because I was inquisitive, I hit the "Insert Coin" button. Which started the game. And although I have played Pac-Man maybe four times in my life (as a child), sure enough, I played it. Ten minutes of my life I'll never get back. Multiply that by 50 million other workers in the U.S. today and you'll know why that guy never got back to your voicemail today.